I fucking hate winter, and I need a happy light. Or drugs that fix it.

I just stayed up until five browsing notalwaysright.com.

I like my job, really.

Here's some of my favorites:

http://notalwaysright.com/the-secret-lives-of-customers/2061

http://notalwaysright.com/well-played-indeed/624

http://notalwaysright.com/grannies-gotta-love-em/1168

http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart/1191

And last but not least, one I swear I was there for:
http://notalwaysright.com/dog-bites-owner-files-for-emancipation/1183

yup.

Dude, i totally broke some boards.
With my -hand-.

Heh.

Penguicon.

I am worried. I desperately want things to go well and don't know if they will.
Seeing as I don't know whats going on with the demo team/entrance costs thing, right now I don't know if I can get in today.

okay, I probably will be able to. It will just be stressful.

And after that I have no idea what to expect.

Whee.

Had a bit of a freak out yesterday.
Stress and exhaustion, mostly.

sorry bout that.

love!

this game: http://www.geocities.com/nconner23/bwcards.html
I want to play it.

However I suspect that many people would be all 'Nooooo! i can't draw it will suck wahhhhh' and decline to play because they're lame. I think they could make hilarious cards with pie charts and things if they wanted to. (or pi raised to the power of a smiley face, call it pi to the face, +100 points- embarassing, but delicious!)

Anyway.
If you're one of those people I get to see every so often, and you would be interested in playing this game, leave a comment and if enough people are interested I will try to plan a thing. Possibly with brownies(or pie) and booze. And probably other games, but I want to play this.

Today was pretty sucky.

Painful but obvious improvement on the tonsil recovery.

9 am class.

as it turns out one of my other classes lied about being on the main campus, and there's no way for me to get to it on time.
I've talked to the professor, she's cool with me switching into the other section(which I could get to), but the registrar hasn't gotten the message. I asked them what I needed to do to move that along, they shuffled me off to the Accounting and Finance dept., who said that actually that's done through these other people over here, and shuffled me off to the undergrad College of Business dept, who shuffled me off to the general advising dept., who told me they can't do anything for me until tomorrow.


It was cold and time consuming and useless and all of me in is pain. And my schedule's still fucked up and there's nothing I can do about it until tomorrow.


wah.

This mojo is awesome. I am improving steadily at a way faster clip than did my sister.
Yesterday I ate a couple bites of steak. Nom nom nom.
And the healing continues!

Thanks for the mojo folks, keep it comin.
After a short nosebleed this morning, I now feel much better. Not great, but better, and this is way faster than I remember Kathryn getting better, which is good because this sucks.

Manged to swallow pills for pain today, instead of gross liquid goo that makes me want to hurl, or ground up pills in pudding which was only slightly better. Also I tried some pita and hummus chewed up a whole lot, but I didn't get very far with that.

hugs and love, all.

Send mojo. These drugs are not killing pain and I need to be better. Now.
please? help.

well my tonsils are gone. went to the hspital at nine, got in to surgery around ten thirty, woke up awhile ago, now I'm home and tonsil free. Kinda loopy on painkillers though. otherwise I'm just fine.

gnight everyone.

I got everything I wanted for Christmas. I got everything I wanted for my birthday, too. Before I even opened anything, I'd already gotten everything I really wanted.
All I have wanted for a very long time is to be happy. Or not depressed, at least. And I got that, I'm living with that, carefully and tentatively, and it's awesome. Learning to deal with emotions that feel and work very differently than how I'm used to. Fear is different. Panic is not as miserable. Love is different. I vaguely remember being able to react to the world in ways that made sense on a fairly consistent basis, and I'm trying to relearn that. It's fun.

Also, toe socks and green space rock earrings.w00t.

Merry christmas, everybody!

This whole rolling thing is really frustrating. I don't have any good coping mechanisms for repeated failure while I'm actually putting forth effort. It's not a situation I run into very often and usually, if I'm not good at it, I don't do it and that's it.
But I really want to be good at this, and instead I'm sucking, and I practiced yesterday for about an hour and I practiced this morning and all that's changed is that my shoulders are sore now, and I still can't do this roll any more than I could on Sunday.
As far as I can tell the entire problem is that chucking my head at the floor freaks me out a little(too much research on brain injuries? general anxiety about all of everything? fear of failure? whatever) so when I do it it's too slow to manage what it's supposed to.
All I can think of to fix this issue is to convince myself that I can fly. Paige suggested that I try it a little bit drunk, and that sounded plausible. Easier to do but more likely to cause property and/or brain damage. Once I managed it a few dozen times, though, then I might be able to believe that I really am capable of not breaking myself when I try it, and then chucking my head at the ground might be less scary.

My sister lost her job. I'm trying not to think about it too hard. That wasn't even on the list of things that could go terribly wrong to worry about. And I worry about anything I can think of. I thought Lady K's job was a pretty safe bet, compared to mine or my mother's.

And I'm probably losing the health insurance that pays for my ADD meds for the next year. Mostly unrelated. Really really trying not think about this, other than putting together all the paperwork I can that might help.

Got a presentation to give today, physics and swords. And shields, really, I guess. Nervous, but nowhere near as nervous as I'm used to being for things where I have to talk in front of people. I wonder if that's due to the topic, that it's something I really like, or more that I'm a little more stable than I can remember being in a long time. Cause both things are true, and I'm a little weirded out by my lack of weepy anxietyfear. It's also possibly that I just feel like I'm too busy to worry that hard about it, no time. Obviously there is time, or I wouldn't be posting, but it feels like I have way more to do lately and just the change makes it feel like it's too much to handle. It isn't, so far. It's kinda fun, to be doing things with my life that take work and time but somehow don't make me miserable. This is new for me, too.

Love for everyone.

We totally did it!

Comment and I'll do the following:

a) Tell you why I friended you.

b) Associate you with something -- a fandom, song, color, photo, etc.

c) Tell you something I like about you.

d) Tell you a memory I have of you.

e) Ask you something I've wanted to know about you.

f) Tell you my favorite userpic from your list.

g) In return, you need to post this on your own livejournal.

After a month of recurring sore throat/swollen tonsils and four doctor visits where they decided it wasn't strep four times in a row, the last time I went to the doctor they decided to actually run a bunch of other tests and cultures and things, and the results have gotten back: It's strep! And not just strep, but multiple strains of it! Joy.


Yeup, that's all I've got.

car accident.

I'm okay. the car is not.

gonna go cry now, talk to you later.

I'm tired of being sick. My immune system has no will to live.


grah.

1. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.

2. Go to Google Images and search for that word.

3. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).

4. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same, if you want to.